Good Roasts Guaranteed to Cut to the Quick
Good Roasts: Every dispute may not be filled with accurate, excellent, and precise arguments. Sometimes our foes, friends, or unidentified people try to sabotage our emotions while arguing.
We always require good roasts and comebacks for our defense and get them to stop talking.
Of course, roasts do not just a matter of argument. It’s a form full of humorous dark comedy that will bring laughter to families and friends.
To make your dinners more exciting or long, boring evenings, you need to determine what kind of roast you prefer for your particular time.
Be aware that specific roasts are highly offensive and should not be shared with your loved family.
Today, we’ve got a massive list of over 55 good roasts. They can be used in debates to make your opponents doubt their credibility.
Some people are funny; however, they can accomplish their work perfectly. To be prepared to deal with irritating people, keep reading.
GOOD ROASTS
I would smack you, but I’m against animal abuse.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ.
I can’t wait to spend my whole life without you.
Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice.
I didn’t mean to offend you… but it was a huge plus.
I don’t hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five.
If I throw a stick, will you leave me too?
Sorry I can’t think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it works.
Whatever doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
I like the way you comb your hair, so horns don’t show up.
Have a nice day… somewhere else.
I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult for stupid people.
I told my therapist about you; she didn’t believe me.
Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? That explains a lot.
The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids.
If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you.
You were so happy for the negativity of your Covid test, we didn’t want to spoil the happiness by telling you it was IQ test.
Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears.
Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it.
Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata.
You are like a software update. every time I see you, I immediately think “not now”.
When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? Can you go back there?
You are the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles.
I think you just need a high five… in the face… with a chair.
When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. I hope you stay there.
I look at you and think what a waste of two billion years of the evolution.
It would be a great day If you used a glue stick instead of Chapstick.
Yes, I’m fully vaccinated, but I will still not hang out with you.
When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. I’m just giving myself a head start.
You are the reason why God is not talking to us anymore.
You can’t imagine how much happiness you can bring… by leaving the room.
I know you don’t like me, that says a lot. You need to acquire a better taste.
It’s all about balance… you start talking, I stop listening.
Are you talking to me? I thought you only talk behind my back.
I’m sorry… did my back hurt your knife?
Everyone is allowed to act stupid once, but you… you are abusing that privilege.
Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it.
Ola soy Dora. Can you help me find where we asked?
Somewhere tree is producing oxygen for you. I’m sorry for it.
Earth is full. Go home.
Everyone has purpose in this life, yours is to become an organ donor.
I am jealous of people who didn’t meet you.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
You didn’t change since last time I saw you. You should.
What is wrong with you? Have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today?
It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
Hurting you is the least thing I want to do… but it’s still in the list.
Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours?
Let me tell you. If I don’t answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 will work?
I am not ignoring you; I am just giving you a time to understand what you just said.
Every time I think you can’t get any dumber, you are proving me wrong.
Where is your off button?
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past.
You are the sun in my life… now get 93 million miles away from me.
You have such a beautiful face… But let’s put a bag over that personality.
There is someone out there for everyone. For you, it’s a therapist.
GOOD COMEBACKS
When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. I hope you stay there.
Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
You are the sun in my life… now get 93 million miles away from me.
It’s all about balance… you start talking, I stop listening.
The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids.
You didn’t change since last time I saw you. You should.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ.
I didn’t mean to offend you… but it was a huge plus.
You are the reason why there are instructions on shampoo bottles.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it works.
It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
I like the way you comb your hair, so horns don’t show up.
I am not ignoring you; I am just giving you a time to understand what you just said.
When an immature person says you have changed
say
I didn’t change, I grew up. You should try it sometime.
Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? That explains a lot.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
I treasure the time. I don’t spend time with you.
I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but here’s a participation award.
When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his “to-do” list.
You’re the reason the divorce rate is so high.
A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Lasts longer in bed, too.
You can be anything you want…except good looking.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
You’re not simply a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
You hear that? It’s the sound of me not caring.
All mistakes are fixable, yet you aren’t.
I’d tell you to blow your brains out, but I’m pretty certain there’s nothing there.
I don’t want to rain on your parade. I want a typhoon.
Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary?
Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
I’ve been called worse things by better men.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
Did I invite you to the barbecue? Then why are you all up in my grill?
Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
FUNNY INSULTS
We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we’ve been married for 10 years.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.
You hear that? It’s the sound of me not caring.
I’d tell you to blow your brains out, but I’m pretty certain there’s nothing there.
When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his “to-do” list.
I know I make stupid choices, but you’re the worst of all my choices.
God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind.
Remember, if anyone says you’re beautiful, it’s all lies.
The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake.
I think you just need a high five… in the face… with a chair.
Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours?
I look at you and think what a waste of two billion years of the evolution.
You can’t imagine how much happiness you can bring… by leaving the room.
Somewhere tree is producing oxygen for you. I’m sorry for it.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
Where is your off button?
Let me tell you. If I don’t answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 will work?
Your face makes onions cry.
Every time I think you can’t get any dumber, you are proving me wrong.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry.
God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind
Remember, if anyone says you’re beautiful, it’s all lies
The good books say to make good friends, but I think I made a mistake
You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily
You do realize we tolerate you.
I know I make stupid choices, but you’re the worst of all my choices
Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone
You deserve to be loved… from a distance
Best Roasts For Enemies
You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.
Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice.
Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah, that is now.
OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult for stupid people.
Someday you’ll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
Hurting you is the least thing I want to do… but it’s still in the list.
You are like a software update. every time I see you, I immediately think “not now”.
How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation?
Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?
I’m not a nerd; I’m just smarter than you.
You are the human version of period cramps.
I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation.
I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
Don’t worry – the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
I didn’t mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute.
When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. I’m just giving myself a head start.
I can’t wait to spend my whole life without you.
Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.
N’Sync said it best, “BYE, BYE, BYE!”